Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Maya's gift to us after her passing


Our visitor on that magical Saturday afternoon


I've heard the stories of people experiencing a visit of some kind from their beloved deceased pet.  After Orwell passed away three months ago, I prayed for some sign that she was still with us.  There was one time when I was by her ashes and feeling her fur that I collected from her favorite brush when I heard her meow.  It's hard to tell if I am just imagining things with wishful thinking.  In any case, it brought a smile to my face.

As for me, when a pet passes, it's much different than when a human passes.  There are words that can't be said.  You say them, but do they understand? Did they feel pain or were they disappointed in you somehow? It's all unknown, yet you love them so much that you only hope they knew that you wanted them to be safe and pain free.

Less than one day after Maya's passing, I experienced something that made me a believer that pets can and will be with us after their passing. 

Saturday was a gloomy day, which fit my mood perfectly.  It was the day after the horrible night we had saying goodbye to Maya at the ER.  Her death was extremely emotional in every way.  We ended her suffering after a very terrifying situation of her heart shutting down.  It was a situation that no one wants to see a pet go through and I felt terrible about not being by her side the entire time she was suffering.  With this, I wanted some sign that she was ok and forgave me.  In the morning, I sat outside on the back step with the overcast sky.  Something rarely, if never seen in a California summer.  Maya and I spent so much time together outside and I just wantd to feel that she was there with me.  Through the hazzy sky as I sat there, the sun peaked through and I felt this ray on me.  I felt her precence in this ray of sun.  It felt amazing.  Later that afternoon I went outside again to look at my garden.  This is always the point when Maya would come with me and insist on my attention as I play in the dirt.  She was not there and I felt such emptiness.  I then look in the bushes and I saw who I think is our neighbor kitty.  I have seen this cat everyday and Maya made she she kept a distance from our yard.  Once in a while I have seen this cat hiding somewhere in our yard.  I sat on the ground and I said "hi kitty!" and she immediatly comes over to me egarly wanting me to pet her.  It felt so good to pet her.  I was crying and Sam too was crying.  I truely felt that it was Maya with us.  When I started crying I felt rain drops landing on me and I knew right then that it was Maya.  She was crying too.  She knows how lonely Sam and I are and she allowed for this cat to be with us for companionship.  It was something that I have never expereinced before and for sure a very magical moment. 

Maya, always making sure I pay more attention to her than the garden plants


Since then, this kitty has come to me when I sit outside and who knows, maybe she's our new friend. 

Kitty was loving the lovin'

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